What is a Healthy Relationship?

We all at some point have been able to pinpoint an unhealthy relationship, either our own or someone else’s.  Usually, there is physical, emotional, or mental abuse.  It is easy to tell when someone is hurting you or someone you know, because it feels bad.   It is difficult for many of us to identify, what is a healthy relationship?  You know, the kind that lasts 50 years or more, and the pair are still smiling and affectionate towards each other.  Healthy relationships have these things in common: equality, honesty, physical safety, respect, comfort, sexual respectfulness, independence, and humor.  Identifying these interconnecting important factors in a healthy relationship makes it easier to grow and maintain a happy, long-lasting relationship.

Equality:

Equality is important in a healthy relationship.  Equality in a relationship is where you both make decisions together with each other’s needs in mind.  Equality involves shared roles, and established equally agreed upon roles.  It doesn’t mean everything is exactly the same for both partners.  Instead, it means understanding the importance within the relationship how each person can maintain balance using individual strengths, while discussing the fairness of distributing responsibilities. 

Honesty:

Honesty is within a relationship is the ability to be able to share each other’s thoughts, feelings, and dreams. When honesty is found in a relationship, these things can be shared with each other without fear.   Honesty provides comfort and security within a relationship.

Physical Security:

Another important factor in a healthy relationship is physical security.   A relationship should be the safe haven where one can go to and seek peace, and comfort.   No healthy relationship has physical violence, or threats of violence.  Physical security is essential for all the other healthy factors to occur.  People must feel safe at home with their significant other in order to promote equality, honesty, respect, comfort, and independence.  If physical safety is removed, then all those other factors fall apart.  When one can go home and find peace, then the relationship and even the individual will grow stronger, even if the world around them is filled with chaos. 

Comfort:

Comfort is so important in a healthy relationship that ties all the factors together.  Without comfort, you cannot have equality, honesty, respect, or independence.   Eliminate a puzzle piece of comfort, and the relationship just won’t feel right.  Comfort is that warm safe feeling you have when you respect independent differences and still have a safe haven to go home to.  Comfort is being about being able to seek forgiveness when a mistake is made, as well as the ability to provide forgiveness as needed.  Comfort is the ability to be yourself around your other half. 

Respect:

Remember the golden rule?  Following the golden rule is how to show respect in a healthy relationship—treat others as you would like to be treated.  Be mindful of your partner, their values, interests, opinions, and their friendships.  Respect your partner by giving space as needed and allow boundaries.   Listen to your partner with understanding, empathy, and compassion. 

Independance:

 Independence is important in a healthy relationship.  Each partner has their own identity, interests, friendships, and activities that they can enjoy within the relationship or outside of the relationship.  They do not depend on each other for happiness and self-satisfaction.  They can feel comfortable participating in their own hobbies and interests.     

Humor:

 Laughter is the best medicine.  That is why humor is so necessary in healthy relationships.  Couples who laugh together, stay together.  A healthy relationship is fun and enjoyable. 
Always find a reason to laugh.  It may not add years to your life, but it will surely add years to your life. 

Sexual Respect:

Sexual respectfulness is important in any relationship.  Within a healthy relationship, no one forces sexual acts upon the other without consent and permission.  Both partners feel comfortable and safe with boundaries respected.

In conclusion, once you identify the components of a healthy relationship, equality, honesty, physical safety, respect, comfort, sexual respectfulness, independence, and humor, you can then work on improving these aspects to enrich your current and future relationships.  A healthy relationship that is unbreakable is obtainable and within your reach!